Hi there, little birdie.
One of the best projects of my high school career.
It was the best way to end high school.
Thanks Erica (@khainerica) for the photo. (Photoshop ftw!)
Senior Checkout Day.
Went ladida into classes.
Ladida’ed until 3rd period when my cramps hit.
Passed out in nurse’s office through 4th and lunch periods (missed the whole lunch balloon and crying shabang).
Woke up and went to 5th, groggy and tired. Like a ghost.
Checked out and picked up graduation tassel and gown.
Drove to Le Arbre at 4pm.
Ate at Shin Sen Gumi for last day of school tradition (passed out there too).
Drove home safely. Tried to climb the stairs…
Woke up curled up on the staircase with my grandpa standing confusedly over me.
Went to shower…
Woke up curled up on the study room cushion.
Changed bed sheets…
Woke up curled up on my bed.
Parents got home, got yelled at for not putting my stuff away. Put those things away…
Woke up curled up on the living room sofa.
Brushed my teeth…
Woke up about to fall off the bathroom counter with toothbrush still in mouth and drooling toothpaste.
Changed and ready to pass out after this post.
Goodnight.
Baked a 7-layered cake today.
And then we had to do damage control …
You will all see what I mean.
And then we made cupcakes with leftover batter.
The prostitution question.
I was listening to the last five minutes of a prostitution discussion on the radio yesterday. Believe it or not, on a Chinese station.
The expert stated that there was a growing number of college students prostituting themselves on monthly contracts to pay off their college debts.
Is that a justifiable reason? This statement calls into question if prostitution is entirely unacceptable.
And the legality of it too …
When the expert interviewed a customer, the man claimed that he was proud for helping these college students and even goes on to call himself a “humanitarian”. Hahaa, that one got me.
The discussion ended when some man began to speak some metaphorical sex talk over the radio. It was intriguing until my mom decided to turn it off.
Y’all got nothing on Raid! MYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
You know how back then in sixth grade, when you thought entering into middle school was a rite of passage that signified that you were a grown-up? Yeah well, I was so excited to practice my signature on a real contract …
Oh how we always regret it later …
——————————————————————————————
And Andy, you haven’t been fulfilling your part of the contract for years now.
Get your butt back here.
And do it.
My new Kindle Fire is awesome.
I CAN RENT BOOKS FROM ANY LA COUNTY PUBLIC LIBRARY!
Loooove. <3
I know what I’m going to carry with me all summer. Heh.
Alienated.
When you’re feeling it, laugh at yourself. And tell yourself, “Don’t be ridiculous. Aliens are cool. Humans are idiots.”
My mother is a fashionista.
I am not a compulsive shopper. Set me in a mall and tell me to just “shop”, I would be as lost as a stray kitten. I’ll wander around, whimper about how my feet are getting tired, and yawn uncontrollably from the boredom. I’d probably find a bench, curl up and sleep in it until the mall closes. With that said, it’s justifiable to say that my mom pretty much shops for 90% of my closet. She picks them out and I approve/disapprove her choices.
But sometimes, my mother has questionable taste.
Replay:
My mom barges in with a shopping bag of clothes.
“Look what I bought today!”
She starts throwing them out onto my bed, naming each piece, claiming “This one’s for me”, and ending it with “Isn’t it so fresh and youthful?” And by the time she pulls out all the clothes from the black hole of the shopping bag, my eyeballs are bulging from their sockets. The pile of “youthful” clothes were all claimed hers, thankfully, because they were clothes that I did not even want to wear.
And then she starts changing in front of me!
“Don’t look at me!”
“Why not? Don’t you always say, ‘It doesn’t matter, we both have the same thing’?”
“But mine are better.” Oh God.
After she changed, I almost hurled my dinner.
“Aiyuh, what is this! My friend said, ‘Oh it’s cute! You don’t have to try it, it will look really good on you!’ Aiyuh, that woman! Never going to listen to her again!”
“Mommy, take that off! If Daddy sees you, he might just want a divorce!”
“I don’t want it anymore. You can have it.”
“I don’t want it either!”
And there it began, every single piece of clothing she thought was “fresh and youthful” was … I don’t have a word for it.
Well, I don’t particularly know what she’s going to do with those clothes. She bought them all in Chinatown so she can’t return them.
Nincompoops.
Dumb guy was walking around the room calling out, “Hey anyone want to see a magic trick?”
Being the joyful, unsuspecting sport that I am, I agreed to be the first to witness it.
He cupped his fingers together, shook them up and down like he was about to roll some dice, and revealed:
His fat, stubby middle finger.
Well, that sure was an accurate representation of who he is. He has his own little G-sign.
I had the instinctive reflex to smash it with my fist.
Oh look, there he goes crawling to the nurse’s office, whimpering like a baby, cradling his bent-up middle finger.
Disrespectful, proud chimpanzee to a pitiful, sorry ass.
Served what he deserved. Of course I was offended, even if it was a silly joke.
Is it really that funny? Hardyharhar. What the hell is this dumb shit?
So this is the kind of crap kids are picking up these days.
Are they still watching Ed, Edd, & Eddie or something? Nincompoops ftw, huh.
What the hell are these useless parents doing?
Get outta’ my face or the next thing bent up will be your nose.
//rant
Let’s flirt.
So I had a couple of different girls hit on me randomly on AIM recently. Three of which are displayed here.
rpijw: hi!
me: Hi.
rpijw: i’m [blahblahblahgirl] age 18 asl?
me: What?
rpijw: so whatre you up to?
me: I’m not interested in conversing with you.
rpijw: so are you a guy for girls with big boobs or with huge asses?
me: I’m gay.
rpijw: oh
oxsheabayox: hi!
me: What.
oxsheabayox: what are you doing?
me: I’m pooping.
oxsheabayox: oh sexy
me: Mm, the lumpy brown excrement coming out of my butthole smells really nice.
oxshebayox: oh okay… lol your cute
me: Do you have a poo fetish or something?
oxshebayox: lol okay…
ym3000: hi!
me: What.
ym3000: hey how are you today?
me: Who is this?
ym3000: Im natali
me: Do I know you?
ym3000: I cant remember if we have talked before? 24f here. u?
me: I’m 12.
ym3000: oh… well whats up?
me: I think Chris Hansen has been looking for you.
How exciting.
I like zebras.
Especially the mock trial zebra.
The consequences of having nerdy friends.
Me: “Sorry, I wasn’t at practice yesterday. I was dying from my epic seasonal allergies.”
Reply: “You know, FDR was sick and he led the country through the Great Depression and World War II.”
Me: “I hate you.”
UGH.
Me: “We’re such social failures. I don’t think any of us will have Homecoming dates this year either.”
Reply: “We can always bring our textbooks.”
Me: “… Yay.” *cries inside.
T___T
Me: “Hey let’s go out to eat today.”
Reply: “Okay, we can test each other on SAT words while we’re at it.”
WAHHHHHHHH … ?
Me: “Hey let’s hang out at my house today. Let’s be fun!”
Reply: “Yeah, sure! I need you to look over and edit my essay!”
Me: “… I suppose I do find enjoyment in mutilating your essay.”
O___O
Me: “The library isn’t open after school today.”
Reply: “… Oh.” *glances around uncertainly. “So what should we do?”
Me: “… I don’t know.”
Reply: “I feel sort of empty …”
KO’ed. X___X
